i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
The beer is more important than you right now.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
