You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Randomize
