question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
