I wanna passion pit in your ass
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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