with your own penis?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
