He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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