If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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