Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
