i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
