yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize