508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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