I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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