omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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