My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
