My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just had sex on a roof
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
