We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
