Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
