I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
then he tried to convert me to islam
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
