Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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