Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
that may or may not have been my penis.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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