so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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