i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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