I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize