last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
