nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
And the cops told us we were all naked.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
