At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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