You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
