She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
