Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
