HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
