I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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