i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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