WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
