We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
