Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
