Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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