Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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