it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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