i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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