are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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