She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize