he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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