i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
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