took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
