Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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