I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
