He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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