Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
