Only a mothe r could love this liver
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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