3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
