I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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