I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
you are never too drunk for berry picking
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
BRING THE BAGELS
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
