They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
