if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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