i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
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