I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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