I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
