Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
where are you?
Hypothermia
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
