i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
