C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
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