If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
How external is "for external use only"?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
