Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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