I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
