at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
