Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
