I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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