Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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