You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
