This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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