laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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