your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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